I'm in love. Well, that's nothing new; I've been in love for nearly ten years now. But now I can say I've also fallen in love with the most beautiful woman I've ever met. To love two people may seem strange to some people but, for me, it feels like more of the most natural things in the world and I am so unbelievably happy and grateful to S and B for being part of my life.
I always thought I was lucky to have found B. He's been my rock for close to ten years and I cannot begin to think of my life without him. I have shared happy and sad times with him. We've been through so much and come out stronger on the other side and he's always been wonderful about me exploring my other needs and desires. I even have him to thank for getting us to that first U35 munch where I met S. Without him, I would not be the person I am today.
And that person now loves S too. I got over myself and said the words, knowing that I had to; I couldn't keep them in any longer. I knew I could say them without it being a question and expecting a reply but to get one was a special early Christmas present that has had me grinning like an idiot for days.
I have been so lucky to have found not one but two people who make me feel so alive and that makes me want to shout from the rooftops, to tell everyone I know why I'm so happy...but I can't. Well, I could but I don't want to cope with the fallout right now. I don't need to cause hurt and pain and taint the happy thoughts and feelings I have with the stresses, good meaning and potential hurt from others. I already have a sister in law who, although not causing too much drama, has made it quite clear she doesn't approve of our lifestyle choices and deems us immature. One day, there will come a time when I can't hold it in any longer but for now, I'm happy to grin to myself, knowing that few people know the true source of my Christmas cheer.
Oh, and I've always got Mrs Santa to sneak a look at on my phone!
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