Coming Clean

I've never come out to my parents about my sexuality. This is not because I didn't want to particularly but because of what they see my life as. I've been in a relationship with B for 10 years and my parents believe this is entirely monogamous. If I told them I fancy women too, are they likely to even entertain the idea as, from what they see, I have no real basis for my sexuality beyond looking at people and thinking they're hot. I've found it easier over the years to just not bring it up. I don't really hide the fact I am pretty much a lesbian but I've never come out and said "I'm gay".

Being with S has made me think more about coming out to them. The discussions about her coming out to her own parents have made me think about my situation. I also love her and want to tell everyone I can about it! It's not so simple though. When I come out to my parents, I'll be doing it twice over. They will have to deal with the fact I like women (a lot) and the fact I'm involved with two people. Just how do you explain to someone you're poly? How are they going to understand that I'm not having an illicit affair? Are they ever going to believe that B is fine with this? Will they cast me out for being immoral?

If my relationship was different with my parents, maybe I wouldn't mind so much but we are very close. That's one of the reasons it's so hard keeping this from them as it is but can they ever be happy for me and not judge my life? I don't even know where to begin explaining what's going on in my life. I don't even know if they've even heard of polyamory. I don't want to hurt them. I know that how they feel about it won't be my fault but I do know I can protect them from the pain, although at my own discomfort.

The thing is, I want them to know so that I can include S in my life more. I want her to meet the parents (I know they will like her), I want to be able to talk about her without holding back and I don't want to have to leave this until it's very necessary such as if we decide that we're cohabiting. At the same time, our relationship is still new and I don't need to be telling them just yet.

I need to strike a happy balance right now, both living in the moment and giving some consideration to the future. I may not need to tell my parents this right now but one day I will. Maybe I will have a sudden wonderful idea of how to do it, but for now, I'm going to make the most of my life and avoid actual lying, which is the same as I have been doing for years anyway.