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Kinky and Crafty

I’m a huge fan of crafting; I knit, do cross stitch and enjoy creating things. I also love munches. It’s great to have a social space to chat with fellow kinky people and get to know them. I think it’s easy to meet different people in a vanilla setting; there’s no hiding behind the latex clothing or being judged for your play style, you just get to hang out with like-minded people. So what better way than to combine the two and have a crafty munch?

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A Possible Letter...

...or a letter of possibility.

 

I wrote a letter to my parents in my notebook last month, just after the SMDykes workshop on BDSM and poly.  I seem to find myself thinking most about coming out to my parents just before the monthly meeting.  I don't know exactly why.  Maybe it's because of the openly poly people there or because going reminds myself that my parents have no idea about that part of me.

 

I want to come out to them.  I find it hard bending the truth plus I don't want it to come across to anyone that I'm ashamed of S being my girlfriend (which is so far from the truth, it's almost funny).  I'm just so scared of their reaction, of the things they might do and say because it hurts them.  If I just wanted the easy life, I'd continue not telling them but at what cost?  The lies would get bigger, the guilt will get to me and it'd be messy.  I've decided there's never going to be a perfect time; there's always going to be something going on that will stop me, a birthday here, father's day there etc and I could put it off forever but that just won't do.  It has to be done; they need to be told.  By the end of June, I'm going to tell them.  Sometime after my cousin's wedding (that's too close and I do have to spend too much time around them to want to tell them beforehand).  But how?  How can I ever find the right words?  What do I tell them?  How do I do it?  Do I send them a letter and go through the wait, wondering whether they're read it?  Do I tell them in person and risk tumbling over my words and getting upset?  Do I slip it into casual conversation?  Do I hand them a note and wait to see their faces drop?  No way is ever going to be perfect but I need to pick one.  Anyway...the following is the letter I wrote...I just don't know if this is the 'best' option.

 

Dear Mum and Dad,

 

This isn't an easy letter for me to write but I need to be honest with you and to stop hiding something from you that is very important to me.

 

I am polyamorous.  I don't know if this is a term that you've come across but, for me, it means being open to having more than one emotional relationship whilst being honest with everyone involved.  B knows about about this and is happy for me because I can be truly myself.  My feelings for him haven't changed; he is still my husband, I love him and he means the world to me but there is also someone else in my life, whom I love.  S and I have been together for a little while now.  She knows all about B and is, in fact, quite good friends with him now.

 

It has been hard for me to tell you all of this as I don't want you to be disappointed in me; I am still the same person, I just get to be honest and share with you what's going on in my life.  It's important that I tell you as I don't want to lie to you and I've hated not being fully open with you.  I know it may be hard for you to understand and if you need me to talk to you about it more, please ask me.  It doesn't mean that B means any less to me or that our relationship has problems.

 

I hope that you can accept this of me.  I've told you because you are an important part of my life and it was getting too hard knowing that I was keeping things from you. 

 

A x

Teacher's Pet

When I was at school, I had a favourite teacher who I was constantly trying to impress and get in the good books of. Being good at her subject, it was pretty easy and looking back, I was definitely a teacher's pet. I'm starting to think that, if Kink Academy was a bricks and mortar school that I could actually attend, Gray Dancer would be that teacher for me. He's definitely my favourite faculty member currently and I really enjoy watching what he has to say. And what's more, he really is very informative and I think I have learnt the most from him, so far.

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Hair Pulling

So, in my previous post, I talked about reconnecting with S, the BDSM aspect helping with that feeling but it got me thinking about one aspect of the scene in particular, hair pulling. There are a couple of very good videos on Kink Academy. One is part of the Full Contact Dom series, with GrayDancer. This video is very interesting and along with Arthur Hate's video on Hair Play, I really had a lot to think about.

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What is your favorite cartoon character?

It has to be the beautiful Jessica Rabbit!

Ask me anything

Reconnecting

I think there always comes a time in relationships when that honeymoon period is over and things start to settle into a pattern. Stability and familiarly is nice but sometimes it can be nice to shake things up again. It’s never that the fire’s gone out but just turned down low, running low on fuel. I know the feeling well; 10 years with someone means that those flames have been all over the place at times. Real life can get in the way; household worries, health problems, work, study…all kinds of things. You don’t always notice straight away, life will continue comfortably and perfectly well but getting that energy back can do wonders for a relationship.

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Release

I suffer from anxiety and although it doesn’t effect me all the time, it is something I have to deal with on a pretty regular basis. Once upon a time, I didn’t really cope with it well, and there’s still times now that I find it hard but I’m also beginning to realise that I can use kink as a way to help work through it. A really good sensual and deep session, with a long work up to send me off to another place.

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Polyamorous Rollercoaster

All relationships have their ups and downs, a natural progession.  Sometimes they will be high as a kite, filling you with glee.  Other times there will be dips where your paths barely cross and your alone whilst together.  And there's everything in between too.  Or so I've found.  Monogomous people seem to forget this when they see a polyamorous relationship going wrong, or even not being perfect.  Sure, polyamory has its complexities but the general problems will quite probably still be there even if other partners aren't involved.

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Delving into my dark side

I wouldn't say that I'm new to kink. I may only be 25 but ever since I've been sexually active (oh how I love that phrase!), I've been kinky. From being tied to the bed with charity shop ties to scratching my arms, playing dress up to being spanked over his knee, I've never just been interested in vanilla sex. Don't get me wrong, I love vanilla sex, especially on lazy Sunday mornings but I also love things a bit dirtier, a bit rougher, a bit kinky.

Obviously, I've grown as a person over those years and, in all aspects of my life, my tastes have changed.

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