Dystopia

I was always going to be anxious about going to Dystopia; the first night out like that in forever and the uncertainty of it all.

I had my outfit planned for weeks to fit in with the monochrome theme. There was the panic my new shirt wouldn't arrive in time and the awful thought that it might not work together but my uniform style with short skirt and white stockings seemed to look ok. The flash of red lipstick to stand out from everything else. The cautiously applied eyelashes to try and add some glamour. The latex jacket that was found at the last minute. It all made me feel a million dollars but I was sill worried that I wouldn't fit into the image I had of this night.

It was worry for nothing; I had compliments rolling in, adding to that glow. There were people I could admire for their outfits, others I couldn't help look on in distaste and some that I just thought either had a lot of guts or really obeyed their masters/mistresses. But I still only really had eyes for one person; I couldn't help it.

She's one of the beautiful people I have ever met and to add to that, she's interested in me. Her painted lips, her swinging hips as she dances, her graceful way of getting everyone out of her way, her patience, her politeness, her smooth skin looking like a china doll.

And I found myself caressing that skin, holding her close, tracing a line down her neck with my nail. Breathing in an intoxicating smell, planting kisses wherever I could without spoiling the moment...almost innocent, considering the people around us but it didn't matter; I could have been anywhere but my head was somewhere else when I was with her.

She's intelligent, kind, caring and seems to want to give this a chance, not wanting to rush but to make sure this can work for the three of us. He's still in my life, he still means everything to me but there's nothing saying that I can't want someone else in my life too. I don't know where this will go; I'm still in that heady space that you get when someone you like likes you too. But I don't want to rule anything out right now, I want to see where it takes up, communicating and taking our time and trying to get it right...not like the last time.

It's been awhile

So, I've taken a bit of a backseat with writing again but a lot of my creativity and sexuality were being stifled by not living in my own house. But all that has changed and so this blog way become used again.

Recently, I have been out more on the Manchester scene. I've started going to munches and attended Dystopia, which was a amazing experience being surrounded by the decadance and beauty of it all.